Seth – Ideas For Christmas Gifts

Happy belated Christmas/New Years, dear reader! I hope everyone enjoyed their holidays, because I sure didn’t. Apparently I was quite the mischievous character this year, and Santa decided that simply giving me coal was not enough, so now I’m at the north pole working in Santa’s personal coal mine. Make sure to be good this year if you don’t wanna end up like me you guys! One sure-fire way to make the nice list is gift giving, but it has to be a good gift, and not something lame like socks, or setting the animals at the zoo loose. It was a good gift for the animals though, not so much for the zookeepers and pedestrians… 

Gift giving should come fairly easily to you, so long as you know the gift receiver fairly well. But we all have that one friend/relative that gets really indecisive about this stuff, and racking your brain with gift ideas for them can get really stressful, especially around this so-called “merry” time. That’s why I’ve come up with gift ideas for this Christmas, so you don’t have to!  So, here are some of my Ideas For Christmas Gifts! 

Gift No. 1: A Penguin! 

Did you know Santa uses penguins for manual labor? They’ve been down here in the mines with me all night! They’re pretty chill though, and if I were back home, I’d love to have one as a pet. You might be wondering how exactly you’d get your hands on a penguin, and well, I’m sure there’s still some penguins wandering the city after I let all of those zoo animals go. Either that, or you could take a nice trip over to Madagascar. I’ve watched movies about them, and these types of penguins seem very advanced, so be cautious!

(Credits to my pal Jayden for cooking up this image for me!)

Gift No. 2: Pokémon Emerald for the Gameboy Advance

That’s it. That’s the gift. Not even a Gameboy Advance itself, just the game cartridge. If they don’t like it, throw them into an active volcano.

Gift No. 3: A Hitman! 

Now correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t hitmen just basically seekers for hide and seek? Imagine buying a hitman for your friend, they’d get to play hide and seek for the rest of their life! How much fun is that? Plus, if you buy multiple hitmen, it could be like one of those Minecraft Manhunt videos that Dream guy makes. Those are really entertaining! So yeah, just buy them a bunch of hitmen so every waking moment of their life is just a game of hide and seek. What more could they ask for?

Gift No. 2: A Covid Self-Test Kit!

In this day and age, it’s important to be on top of your health. But going to the doctor’s can be quite the hassle, so why not bring the test to your loved one instead! I’m sure they’d be ecstatic to be saved from a trip to the doctor’s office, especially with the long lines that have been building up outside of them these days. Taking one of these bad boys is fun for the whole family! Unless it comes back as positive, that’s not fun…

(WiFi compatible? How futuristic!)

And Finally, for our last gift… 

Gift No. 5: One of Your Siblings! 

Now, I think we can all agree that siblings, younger and older, can be quite the hassle. So, instead of eliminating them with other methods… just simply give them away! It can be to a friend, a family member, probably not your parents though, since that would kind of defeat the purpose. So I’d suggest giving them away to a friend who’s an only child or something, it’s a win-win! The only way this may not work is if your sibling is so annoying even your friends wouldn’t want them, and if that happens, ship them in a box to the north pole. The coal mines here could use a hand.

Anyways folks, that’ll be it for this article. Merry whatever the heck it is you celebrate, and a happy new year. If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got lots of coal to mine, since the penguins can’t really do much with their flippers. Thanks for reading!