Trick or Tweet
by Charlie, Shaylem & Alex
Donald Trump announced today over Twitter that he would be handing out something special for Halloween. That got the hopes up of many American children, but they would soon come to realize that it was not what it seemed. Instead of candy, this Halloween, Donald Trump is handing out something a little more trick than treat. He tweeted, “I’ve got something for American children this Halloween that they won’t forget for the rest of their lives.”
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Natural History
Your beloved tour guide shows you the rare creatures of Prospect Park. This episode, meet the Wild Chuckles and watch a Shatamus Monkius prove its name.
Hub Adventures October 23, 2020
The party walked up the slope of the stream after having defeated the harpies. They peered in on the Tumbled tower ahead of them in a clearing. Birds chirped around them and the sun shown down on an ancient tower that is falling apart. About three stories of the tower stood before them. And then floating in the air above stood several more floors of the tower, suspended in midair.
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Mortimer Sackler Takes a Penny
by Charlie, Shaylem & Alex
Mortimer Sackler, co-owner of Purdue Pharma was arrested last night for the alleged robbery of seven bodegas in the Park Slope neighborhood of Brooklyn. Sally, a forty-two year old cashier who works at the local Delicious Organic Yumminess corner store told reporters, “That Sackler guy keeps coming into Organic Yumminess and stealing from the give a penny, take a penny at my checkout. It’s so petty.”
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Suxcesful Acidemiks: Stoodent & Fakulty Inderviews
Suxcesful Acidemiks, Part II. (more…)
Sucksessfull Akidemiks
If you think Sucksessfull Akidemiks is right for your little child, all you have to do is call us at [to do: add phone number here]. (more…)
Homeschoolers Visit Trump’s Childhood Home
by Charlie, Shaylem & Alex
On a bright Thursday morning, the Brooklyn Flying Squad took a tour of President Donald Trump’s childhood home. The homeschoolers were surprised to find out that Trump’s childhood home was actually a hole in the ground– quite literally. It was under a little bit of rubble, but they were able to dig it out.
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Hub Adventures October 9, 2020
The party spent a long while negotiating with the only town jeweler in Ford keep to get a good price for the thirty opals they found among the pile of dead at the trolls’ campsite. When they could not, they headed to the town stronghold to see if they could sell them there. Inside an elven representative identified the opals as treasure stolen from Ford Keep and asked for them back. All but Zombie gave some of the opals back to the town, who thanked them and said they would one day be repaid for their honesty and generosity. Zombie went back to the jeweler and sold most of his opals there.
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Exposed: Rat Worm Lung Disease
By Charlie, Shaylem, Zoe & Alex
Wednesday night there was a debate between the two candidates for Vice Presidency. One of the two debaters, vice presidential candidate Kamala Harris revealed that President Trump does not have the Coronavirus. He actually has the infamous Rat Worm Lung Disease, which is caught by licking snails. Does he actually have a snail licking addiction that the public is not aware of? Because if so, the public needs to know. The public needs to be aware if the President is licking snails.
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Proud Girls Demonstrate in Brooklyn
by Charlie, Oliver, Shaylem, Zoe & Alex
At Tuesday night’s Presidential Debate, Donald Trump told the Proud Girls to, “Get up and boogie down.” The infamous hate group who attack Christmas carolers took this as a clear signal to start protesting in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn. Early Thursday morning hundreds of young women armed with clubs made from horse femurs descended upon the neighborhood and gave out free enemas and clubbed the local caroling groups. They gained minus one new members from this protest.
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Hub Adventures September 25, 2020
The adventurers wake up after a painful night of rest (1. on the map) from defeating the Will O’ Wisps and walk across the north side of the stream to the dirt path northward. They walked along the path until they came to a broken down wooden bridge with a deep chasm down to a stream (2. on the map). They used the rope of climbing to lower Chimpo and two of the horses down to the stream when Chimpo heard noises.
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Trump Won’t Peacefully Commit to Sharing Pudding with Monkey
by Charlie, James, Oliver, Shaylem, Zoe and Alex
In the Grand Dining Room of the White House Thursday, President Donald Trump had a meeting with his good friend, Monkey. The President and Monkey were having a heated discussion about the new monkey preserve set to be unveiled in early November in Prospect Park, New York. The discussion went well and the monkey preserve was on the path to actuality. Trump even promised portraits of each of his children to adorn the walls of the monkey preserve with genuine autographs by offspring, not fake ones at all.
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