Brooklyn Flying Squad Shut Down

| April 22, 2021

by Charlie and Shaylem We have some very bad news; Thursday, April 22 the Brooklyn Flying Squad was permanently shut down. Security at Barnes and Nobles caught Charlie, a member of our Flying Squad, writing graffiti on the walls of the bathroom. Charlie revealed that this was a dollar dare that Alex, our adult facilitator […]

Child Starts Satan Worshipping Cult in Prospect Park

| March 25, 2021

by Charlie, Marisol, Shaylem & Alex Today one of our journalists was captured by a Satan worshipping cult in Prospect Park called the Brooklyn Apple Academy. Through a hidden microphone our journalist described the cult as a truly terrifying clan of troglodytes. They had upside down crosses, they used rocks as currency, and they were […]

Hoop Skirts to Enforce Social Distancing

| March 18, 2021

by Bea, Charlie, Marisol, Shaylem, Zoe & Alex (and no help from Manuela) Hoop skirt mandates have been enforced in the New York City subway. Hoop skirts are very wide, and because of this they are perfect for enforcing social distancing. The MTA was frustrated when people wore their masks below their noses, which is […]

HUB DAY: The Day of the Bubble

| March 11, 2021

Today was the holy day of Hubbists. Hubbism is the belief that the world was created by Hub the bubble. All believers congregated in Prospect Park by the picnic house and rejoiced with bubble gum, donuts, and pink lemonade.