Apple Gazette

The 11.5 Commandments + 1 + 1 of Hubbism by Charlie, Manuela, Shaylem & Alex

by Charlie, Shaylem, Manuela’s bloody tooth, Marisol (maybe?) & Alex Imagine the most elegant facemask for the summer– not just for your face but for all of your beach clothing requirements too.

by Charlie, Shaylem, Zoe & Alex A guy walks into a bar. He dies. Nobody cries. This will rhyme, you guys. We interrupt this article to bring you this ad:

by Charlie, Shaylem & Alex We are writing about Shaylem the Smurf and Charlie the Nun, of course.

by Charlie, Marisol, Shaylem & Alex It was recently discovered that the famous astronaut Neil Armstrong left a fortune on the moon on his initial visit there in 1969. Elon Musk discovered it when he found a big treasure chest just sort of sitting there on the dark side of the moon. We all know […]

by Charlie, Manuela, Marisol, Shaylem, Zoe & Alex We broke the news.

by Charlie, Marisol, Shaylem, Zoe & Alex Earlier today some young hoodlums took part in a satanic summoning. The illegal actions of these people are truly preposterous. The Parks Department stumbled upon the group. At first they just thought they were dumb children pretending to summon people, but then when they saw Billy Graham appear […]

by Charlie, Marisol, Shaylem, Zoe & Alex The so-called “Pro Trump protests” on Capitol Hill on Wednesday were all a big misunderstanding. There was in fact organizing, but the organizing was for a big Pokemon Go meetup. The meetup was organized by Qanon after hearing that there was a special location in Capitol Hill to […]

Brooklyn Flying Squader Malachy (aka Auntie Malware) wrote and recorded his own tune, “Turn on the Lights.” Check it out!

Scientists have been wondering for a millennia now, “What does my poop think?” And now we finally have the answer in this EXCLUSIVE interview… with the Poop in Your Toilet:

by Charlie, Shaylem, Zoe & Alex Yesterday’s decision by the Department of Education to shut down schools in New York City turned out to not be about the Coronavirus, at least not what we thought. Contrary to popular belief, the Coronavirus was not the sole cause of schools shutting down. Our investigative reporters discovered that […]

by Charlie, Shaylem, Zoe & Alex The GOP (Grumpy Old Politicians) weren’t convinced of the results of the election, and decided to hire one of the best counters out there, THE Count Von Count. We interviewed the Count on his progress of counting the election, and his response was, “One! Two! Three! Ha ha ha!” […]