The 11.5 Commandments + 1 + 1

The 11.5 Commandments + 1 + 1 of Hubbism
by Charlie, Manuela, Shaylem & Alex

1. Thou shalt not pop Bubbles.
2. Thou shalt not be burned at steak if vegan or vegetarian.
3. Thou shalt blow Bubbles.
4. Thou shalt reprimand (beat with stick) anyone who pops a Bubble.
5. Thou shalt only drink Pink Lemonade on the Holy Days of Hub.
6. Thou shalt celebrate the day of the Hub on the second Thursday of March, except on Leap Years, when Hubbists look to a woodchuck’s turd for which day Hub Day shalt be that year. Little turds meanuth Hub Day happens on the second Tuesday of March. Large turds meanuth Hub day remains on the second Thursday of March. Medium turds meanuth that Wednesday. And liquidy turds meanuth we have to celebrate Hub Day all week.
7. Thou shalt get on their knees and worship the Holy Puck of Joe Leonard whilst coming across it.
8. Thou shalt not kill other followers of the Hubbist religion but maiming or dismembering non-followers is just-ith fine.
9. Thou shalt take Hub’s name in vain.
10. Thou shalt give thy neighbor cheek kisses, except in a pandemic, in which case thou shalt sneeze in their face insteaduth.
11. Thou shalt not worship any other gods other than the Hub. But demon worship is fine, if not a widely accepted practice.
11.5. Thou shalt not.
12. Thou can vandalize the Bibley and is encourageduth to do so.
13. Thou shalt be sackrificed if thou commits sackrilege. Sacrilege consists of disrespecting Hub, going against Hubbist principles, unless specified in the 11.5 + 1 + 1 Commandements, unless thou put-uth their religion in a environmentally friendly reusable sack, in which case sacrilege is just fine.