Three Children and a 45 Year Old Man Put Their Ape Shittery on a Page

by Charlie, Shaylem, Zoe & Alex

A guy walks into a bar. He dies. Nobody cries. This will rhyme, you guys. We interrupt this article to bring you this ad:

Do you have toe jam? Sure, we all do. Then what you need is Toe Jam. Put it between your toes and it gets rid of toe jam. But it’s called Toe Jam. How cool is that? [As seen on TV.]

Does anybody actually ignore stuff in parenthesis? Oh, by the way, a robot is landing on Mars today. Apparently it found Bitcoin on Mars. There was a very old piece of paper on it, it said, “Have some Bitcoin, George–” It looked like it said “George Washington” on it. George Washington left Bitcoin on the moon. Don’t ask any questions, okay?

Nobody knows. Nobody knows. Hell no!