Satanic Summoning Gone Right…?

by Charlie, Marisol, Shaylem, Zoe & Alex

Earlier today some young hoodlums took part in a satanic summoning. The illegal actions of these people are truly preposterous. The Parks Department stumbled upon the group. At first they just thought they were dumb children pretending to summon people, but then when they saw Billy Graham appear they were truly dumbfangled. The Parks Department informed the FBI who came and arrested them. Our journalists followed them to the courthouse to provide this update on the proceedings:

Judge Doofenshmirtz asked, “Why were you summoning a televangelist?”

The hoodlums responded, “Well, we didn’t know we were exactly going to summon Billy Graham. We were just doing it for shits and giggles. To elaborate further, we thought it might be fun to summon someone and… he’s just what we got. We just uttered satanic scripture until something worked.”

Judge D, “Where did you find this satanic scripture?”

Hoodlums, “Satanic scripture? What satanic scripture? Did we say satanic scripture? We meant… umm… umm… Lego instructions.”

Judge D, “How do you plead?”

Hoodlums, “Is that a trick question? On our hands and knees…?”

Judge D, “You are convicted of illegal televangelist soul summoning in the first degree. I sentence you to… a while.”

Hoodlums, “A while? In jail? Or… like what?”

Judge D, “Just… a while.”

A… while later Donald Trump paid the hoodlums a visit in their jail cell and said to them, “I have to say, you’ve done a wonderful job. You’re really really good people. YOUR the behst people on this whole flat earth. We love you.” As his last act before he himself went to jail, Trump pardoned the hoodlums and gave them the Metal of Televangelist Summoning Coolness.