by Charlie, Marisol, Shaylem, Zoe & Alex
The so-called “Pro Trump protests” on Capitol Hill on Wednesday were all a big misunderstanding. There was in fact organizing, but the organizing was for a big Pokemon Go meetup. The meetup was organized by Qanon after hearing that there was a special location in Capitol Hill to capture a Pokemon that has the powers to cast more votes. Rumor has it that this special Pokemon, named Trumpachu, bore a similar resemblance to a popular Cheeto-like world leader.
The reason the police didn’t stop anyone at the door was because they too were there to get the rare Trumpachu as well. The FBI were overheard with the words “Gotta catch ‘em all” emanating from their phones along with the Pokemon theme song. They were all very disappointed when it was discovered that Nancy Pelosi had captured that Trumpachu earlier that morning. The Qanon Pokemon collectors all went home disappointed, cried in their rooms for a little while, and then decided to make their own political party.
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