Homeschoolers Visit Trump’s Childhood Home

by Charlie, Shaylem & Alex

On a bright Thursday morning, the Brooklyn Flying Squad took a tour of President Donald Trump’s childhood home. The homeschoolers were surprised to find out that Trump’s childhood home was actually a hole in the ground– quite literally. It was under a little bit of rubble, but they were able to dig it out.

When they finally got the rubble out, they found a coconut and a top hat. It is believed that these might be the only remaining remnants of Donald Trump’s maternal grandfather. A box with words “Donald’s Toys” written on it with a Sharpie contained many strangely shaped rocks, some dirt, and a brick. These were the tools that prepared little Donald for being President of the United States.

In their travels in this hole, which for reference was about four feet wide, the homeschoolers found Donad Trump’s great grandmother still alive and well. She attempted to feed the children baked Marmite sandwiches and stunk of an odor of mothballs. The group were disgusted by what they found and decided to cover the hole and never speak of this again.