Vladamir Poopin: Painful Itch

by Charlie, Oliver, Shaylem & Alex

Vladamir Poopin was rushed to the hospital Sunday night with a painful itch on hiney. Doctors suspect poison ivy, but he got this only by sitting on his toilet. So who sabotaged his toilet and why?

Witnesses sneaking a peek at Poopin poopin on his toilet say they saw Spongebob Squarepants earlier in the day with a green substance near Poopin’s toilet bowl seat. Squarepants is being held by Russian authorities for questioning.

Meanwhile Poopin is in critical condition. Experts say likely he will be unable to poop for weeks. Stockmarkets in Russia and the price of monkeys are predicted to crash in Russia due to the likely build up of excrement in their leader’s empty skull that he calls a head.

You can’t be too careful around your own toilet seat any longer. So, check twice before dropping your pants.