Pineapple Gnome, A Brief History

By Zoe, Charlie, Shaylem, and Alex

There once was a pineapple. An ancient elder power of the gnomes. No wait, he was pickled first, everyone knows that. It’s common knowledge. Does that mean he’s cursed to never be ripe? He was accidentally dropped into a pickle jar, and the owner of these pickles decided, “Eh I’m feeling lazy.” And then he never took it out. And then gnomes found him and put a gnome hat on him and stuck googly eyes on him. Then he was growled at by angry Zoes. But Hub took pity on him and made him living or something? Sure.

The pickled pineapple with googly eyes and a gnome hat made a waffle truck and started selling waffles from a waffle truck. But someone was confused that maybe he was Moses. But what does Moses have to do with a pineapple gnome? The gnome said, “Mr. um Chuckle. No, Mr. Jimmy Bob (Chuckles is too stinky), I have the odd sense that you’re going to leave.” Then Chuckles left.

Honestly, what is this story? It’s about four idiots talking about a pineapple gnome that is pickled. You realize he just put that into the story? Quarantine is weird.

And then pineapple gnome fell ill with the Coronavirus because he didn’t sanitize his hands while selling waffles. He also didn’t put on a gnome mask. And then three people sued him while coughing on his face, cucumber gnome, orange gnome, and carrot gnome. We hope they were not pickled. But Shaylem keeps talking about pickled banana gnomes even though they are not in the story. This is all your fault. And I take good pride in my fault.

So they went to court to settle this matter. And they all got COVID. Oh okay. Nevermind. Potatoes. Yeah, good. Hee hoo monkey potatoes, noooo ho ho ho. Oh boy. What is this life? O o o o, o, monkey.

“Get out my court room you insolent fruits!” said the judge. And then cucumber gnome said, “This is vegetable disrcimination,” and slapped the judge. Which was confusing because cucumbers are fruits; they’re not vegetables at least. There’s literally a sign in Apple Academy that explains what is a vegetable and what is not. The edible part of the plant that does not contain the seed. I thought I knew Apple. Which is a fruit. Not a vegetable cucumber. Wait, seriously?!

God damn it, Alex (he really means Hub). Ha ha ha ha, I took the pickle out of the pineapple. Help me.

Disclaimer: this story was written from every word uttered by the writers, um, that’s why it sounds like poopy.