Satanic Summoning Gone Right…?

by Charlie, Marisol, Shaylem, Zoe & Alex

Earlier today some young hoodlums took part in a satanic summoning. The illegal actions of these people are truly preposterous. The Parks Department stumbled upon the group. At first they just thought they were dumb children pretending to summon people, but then when they saw Billy Graham appear they were truly dumbfangled. The Parks Department informed the FBI who came and arrested them. Our journalists followed them to the courthouse to provide this update on the proceedings: (more…)

A Big Misunderstanding

by Charlie, Marisol, Shaylem, Zoe & Alex

The so-called “Pro Trump protests” on Capitol Hill on Wednesday were all a big misunderstanding. There was in fact organizing, but the organizing was for a big Pokemon Go meetup. The meetup was organized by Qanon after hearing that there was a special location in Capitol Hill to capture a Pokemon that has the powers to cast more votes. Rumor has it that this special Pokemon, named Trumpachu, bore a similar resemblance to a popular Cheeto-like world leader. (more…)

Hub Adventures December 11 & 18, 2020

The party rested in the inn that evening. They headed down to the restaurant downstairs while the four prisoners they rescued slept in their room. When the party came back to the room, they discovered two assassins in their room and the spiders on the platinum door that stole had come to life. The spiders had pinned down and bitten the prisoners until they died. The party battled the assassins, killing one and sending the other running back out into the night. (more…)

Categories: D&D

Hub Adventures December 4, 2020

The party began to battle the hairy drow and the dozen giant spiders in the dining room. Things immediately started going poorly for the campaign. Chimpo heard a voice in his head and realized he was being commanded to attack his teammates. The giant spiders bit and poisoned multiple members of the team. Avdol and Tall Stag ran into the door to the left to see if there was a way out, and they discovered that the room was a kitchen filled with drow elves preparing a meal. (more…)

Categories: D&D

Hub Adventures November 27, 2020

The party decided to search the cathedral after killing the drider. They found nothing at the main entrance and the altar. In the balcony, Chimpo played the organ and began hearing a clanging noise behind a wall. It seemed to be coming from under the altar. After attempting to smash open the floor, they realized that the altar could swivel open. (more…)

Categories: D&D

New Inflow of Tiny Tot Workers

by Charlie, Shaylem, Zoe & Alex

Yesterday’s decision by the Department of Education to shut down schools in New York City turned out to not be about the Coronavirus, at least not what we thought. Contrary to popular belief, the Coronavirus was not the sole cause of schools shutting down. Our investigative reporters discovered that the real reason for closures was actually a child labor conspiracy.
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Hub Adventures November 13, 2020

The party battled the drider in the cathedral for the entire adventure today. By the end of the battle, Zombie was unconscious bleeding to death; Chimpo, Orange, and Wynzorwyn were all paralyzed; Avdol spent the entire fight summoning a celestial to help; and Tall Stag was left to battle the drider alone. Tall Stag dealt the final blow, with one round left before the celestial was summoned and close to the end of the party’s lives. The drider fell from the ceiling, where it had been hiding in spider webs, shooting down arrows and spells.
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Categories: D&D

GOP Counts on Count

by Charlie, Shaylem, Zoe & Alex

The GOP (Grumpy Old Politicians) weren’t convinced of the results of the election, and decided to hire one of the best counters out there, THE Count Von Count. We interviewed the Count on his progress of counting the election, and his response was, “One! Two! Three! Ha ha ha!” Research later proved that this is actually two numbers higher than the current President can actually count.
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Hub Adventures October 30, 2020

The party went back down the hallway in the tunnels they are stuck in and discovered two more sets of jail cells. They released about thirty prisoners altogether, mostly wood elves, but also some duergar. All of the prisoners were starving and weak. Continuing down the hallways they came to an intersection. Straight ahead the hallway continued on level into darkness. To the right the hall slopes down into a bright area with the blue torches they have seen. (more…)

Categories: D&D

Trick or Tweet

by Charlie, Shaylem & Alex

Donald Trump announced today over Twitter that he would be handing out something special for Halloween. That got the hopes up of many American children, but they would soon come to realize that it was not what it seemed. Instead of candy, this Halloween, Donald Trump is handing out something a little more trick than treat. He tweeted, “I’ve got something for American children this Halloween that they won’t forget for the rest of their lives.”
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