Hub Adventures November 27, 2020

The party decided to search the cathedral after killing the drider. They found nothing at the main entrance and the altar. In the balcony, Chimpo played the organ and began hearing a clanging noise behind a wall. It seemed to be coming from under the altar. After attempting to smash open the floor, they realized that the altar could swivel open. (more…)

Categories: D&D

New Inflow of Tiny Tot Workers

by Charlie, Shaylem, Zoe & Alex

Yesterday’s decision by the Department of Education to shut down schools in New York City turned out to not be about the Coronavirus, at least not what we thought. Contrary to popular belief, the Coronavirus was not the sole cause of schools shutting down. Our investigative reporters discovered that the real reason for closures was actually a child labor conspiracy.
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Hub Adventures November 13, 2020

The party battled the drider in the cathedral for the entire adventure today. By the end of the battle, Zombie was unconscious bleeding to death; Chimpo, Orange, and Wynzorwyn were all paralyzed; Avdol spent the entire fight summoning a celestial to help; and Tall Stag was left to battle the drider alone. Tall Stag dealt the final blow, with one round left before the celestial was summoned and close to the end of the party’s lives. The drider fell from the ceiling, where it had been hiding in spider webs, shooting down arrows and spells.
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Categories: D&D

GOP Counts on Count

by Charlie, Shaylem, Zoe & Alex

The GOP (Grumpy Old Politicians) weren’t convinced of the results of the election, and decided to hire one of the best counters out there, THE Count Von Count. We interviewed the Count on his progress of counting the election, and his response was, “One! Two! Three! Ha ha ha!” Research later proved that this is actually two numbers higher than the current President can actually count.
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Hub Adventures October 30, 2020

The party went back down the hallway in the tunnels they are stuck in and discovered two more sets of jail cells. They released about thirty prisoners altogether, mostly wood elves, but also some duergar. All of the prisoners were starving and weak. Continuing down the hallways they came to an intersection. Straight ahead the hallway continued on level into darkness. To the right the hall slopes down into a bright area with the blue torches they have seen. (more…)

Categories: D&D

Trick or Tweet

by Charlie, Shaylem & Alex

Donald Trump announced today over Twitter that he would be handing out something special for Halloween. That got the hopes up of many American children, but they would soon come to realize that it was not what it seemed. Instead of candy, this Halloween, Donald Trump is handing out something a little more trick than treat. He tweeted, “I’ve got something for American children this Halloween that they won’t forget for the rest of their lives.”
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Hub Adventures October 23, 2020

The party walked up the slope of the stream after having defeated the harpies. They peered in on the Tumbled tower ahead of them in a clearing. Birds chirped around them and the sun shown down on an ancient tower that is falling apart. About three stories of the tower stood before them. And then floating in the air above stood several more floors of the tower, suspended in midair.
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Categories: D&D

Mortimer Sackler Takes a Penny

by Charlie, Shaylem & Alex

Mortimer Sackler, co-owner of Purdue Pharma was arrested last night for the alleged robbery of seven bodegas in the Park Slope neighborhood of Brooklyn. Sally, a forty-two year old cashier who works at the local Delicious Organic Yumminess corner store told reporters, “That Sackler guy keeps coming into Organic Yumminess and stealing from the give a penny, take a penny at my checkout. It’s so petty.”
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Homeschoolers Visit Trump’s Childhood Home

by Charlie, Shaylem & Alex

On a bright Thursday morning, the Brooklyn Flying Squad took a tour of President Donald Trump’s childhood home. The homeschoolers were surprised to find out that Trump’s childhood home was actually a hole in the ground– quite literally. It was under a little bit of rubble, but they were able to dig it out.
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Hub Adventures October 9, 2020

The party spent a long while negotiating with the only town jeweler in Ford keep to get a good price for the thirty opals they found among the pile of dead at the trolls’ campsite. When they could not, they headed to the town stronghold to see if they could sell them there. Inside an elven representative identified the opals as treasure stolen from Ford Keep and asked for them back. All but Zombie gave some of the opals back to the town, who thanked them and said they would one day be repaid for their honesty and generosity. Zombie went back to the jeweler and sold most of his opals there.
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Categories: D&D

Exposed: Rat Worm Lung Disease

By Charlie, Shaylem, Zoe & Alex

Wednesday night there was a debate between the two candidates for Vice Presidency. One of the two debaters, vice presidential candidate Kamala Harris revealed that President Trump does not have the Coronavirus. He actually has the infamous Rat Worm Lung Disease, which is caught by licking snails. Does he actually have a snail licking addiction that the public is not aware of? Because if so, the public needs to know. The public needs to be aware if the President is licking snails.
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Proud Girls Demonstrate in Brooklyn

by Charlie, Oliver, Shaylem, Zoe & Alex

At Tuesday night’s Presidential Debate, Donald Trump told the Proud Girls to, “Get up and boogie down.” The infamous hate group who attack Christmas carolers took this as a clear signal to start protesting in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn. Early Thursday morning hundreds of young women armed with clubs made from horse femurs descended upon the neighborhood and gave out free enemas and clubbed the local caroling groups. They gained minus one new members from this protest.
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